Have you noticed how some people just walk into a room and light up the entire space? And have you secretly always wanted to be like that person. So what if I told you that an attractive and confident personality is not an inborn quality, but it is something that can be easily developed.
And what if I gave you 8 super easy and sure-shot techniques to become that charismatic and confident personality that everyone is attracted to.
How to develop an attractive personality, you will find hundreds of different ideas and techniques online on this topic. But in reality, only a few things will go a long way and I decided to tell you my own tried and tested techniques to make this journey very easy for you.
● Number 1: Conversation Ratio
Listening is a magnetic and strange thing, a creative force. The friends who listen to us are the ones we move toward. So, the perfect conversation ratio is 25 percent of speaking and 75 percent of listening. When someone is talking to you, Cultivate active listening, nodding, asking questions and offering reactions. Remember stuff they told you last time, link it up and ask them about important events – hey! I hope your dad is feeling better now.
Avoid the #metoo syndrome – when someone says something, we often say – ya, this happened to me too.. no no! this is not about you, it is about them. And always keep kind eyes, and a warm appreciative smile while listening.
● Number 2: Ice Breaker Jokes
Famous actor Jim Carry says – I am more attractive when I laugh at myself. You know a friendly conversation is incomplete without cracking jokes on each other. But a person becomes charismatic when they have the confidence to laugh at themselves. It shows that they are happy in their own skin and it relaxes the group immediately. People see the more human side of you and instantly warm up to you.
● Number 3: Name Card
In Egyptian mythology, RA the sun god had to travel through darkness each night and fend off monsters. The only reason the monsters couldn’t hurt him was because he knew their true names. In another myth, Isis becomes the second most powerful deity in Egypt after she tricks Ra into telling her his true name and thus gains power over him as well. The same theme runs through the German fairytale of Rumpelstiltskin .
Taking a person’s name is like having some power over them. So try to use the person’s name often in a conversation referring to them. “Hey Betty! I haven’t seen you in a while. But be careful, don’t crazily overdo it.
● Number 4: The “Secret” Strategy
Should I or Should I not reveal this Strategy? Only if you promise not to reveal it to anyone! Deal then. Okay, come closer.
According to the Scarcity principle of Robert Cialdini from his book “Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion”, he states that people find objects and opportunities much attractive if they are scarce. On a personal level, we call it “The Secret
Psychology says, telling secrets to anyone means showing your trust to someone and in return, they trust you back. So, if you want to create an in-depth friendship with anyone, then tell them some of your secrets and the person would always feel closer to you.
● Number 5: Root of Interests
Have you met some person who could bore you to death with just one same topic again and again? Ugh! I have definitely met a few. A magnetic personality can speak fluently on a wide range of topics. So, develop your passions and interests in various fields, keep an open mind to multiple opinions, thoughts and customs and sound respectful to other people’s opinions. You will become the life of the party.
● Number 6: Magnet of Friends
They say, there are friends, there is family and then there are friends that become family and we all have a few friends which we can call as our family. Building this “Home of Friends” and strengthening relationships with them by
regularly socializing is a great source of confidence. But it is important to be genuinely kind, caring and helpful to this set of friends. People love you not only for who you are but how you make them feel. If you make them feel good, you will be
the perfect magnet for them.
● Number 7: Art of Saying “No”
I know it’s tough leaving your bed on the weekends after a busy week. But what is tougher? Saying “No” to your overly excited friend for a group meetup. It’s like balancing between a fine line of a loveable and a rude person.
A confident person is one who can say no politely but firmly. So, saying “Sorry! I am not sure about being able to do this” if you are too busy to help anyone or “Thank You but I don’t need it right now” or “ Thank you, but I’ll give it a miss” to a pushy salesperson or simply “I am afraid I will be busy today” or “ I am sorry I have another commitment’ for an unwanted invite. This will set an image of a firm and confident personality without affecting your humble nature.
● Number 8: Avoid the Blame Game
Ratan Tata, former chairman of Tata Sons, publicly confessed that his greatest mistake was branding Tata Nano as the “Cheapest Car” instead of “Most Affordable Car” which created a negative impression about the car.
So, what can we learn from this? That shedding your dust upon others will make you dustier. But when you take the responsibility of your mistakes, this becomes a life long lesson for you, a precious pearl of experience gets added to your collection box. And the shine of the pearl brightens when you ponder upon your mistake and make a commitment of never repeating it again and this will not only make you much confident and brave but also a leader and fall-back for your future teams.
At last but not the least, in the midst of becoming an attractive personality, be true to your own nature and don’t try to copy and become someone else.
Conclusion – don’t be afraid to be yourself.